Here We Go Again

This is a topic that's always been a bit of a sore spot for me, but here we go:

I'm overweight. There, I said it.

I've been this way most of my life. Part of this is due to genetics, and part of it is due to the fact that I'm lazy and really like food. I'm also a stress eater, the cherry on top of the proverbial cake.

When I was 18-19, I got in shape without really meaning to and I looked fantastic. Same thing happened again when I was 25. Little things like walking and taking a dance class helped out a lot. I looked good and I felt good.

Now before I go any further, I want to clarify a few things: even overweight I'm still beautiful, I'm still smart, I'm still witty and I'm still funny. Most of those are personality traits and they don't change based on my weight. As for pretty… Well, I got a nice face. I like it. And that's a good thing.

But I don't feel healthy, and some days I don't like the mirror. It's time to lose the weight.

Why did I gain it back? Well, a few reasons:

1. I had a baby. I actually didn't put on a lot of weight while pregnant, mostly just my kid and I lost almost all of it when he was born. However, pregnancy triggered some health issues and I underwent two emergency surgeries seven months later.

2. Health issues. Gallstones are rough and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. I can't even put the pain into words. It was as if my chest were on fire and exploding out through my lungs. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't sit. I couldn't stand. And I have a high pain tolerance! It was so bad that I didn't need any pain relief after surgery besides the odd (regular strength) Tylenol here and there.

But thanks to my now removed gallbladder, my body just didn’t (and sometimes doesn't) work like it used to. After I was diagnosed, I made some life changes to manage the pain - I was on a low to no fat diet, eating a calorie deficit, walking 3km at least daily and also going to the gym - and I gained almost 30 pounds in three months. Ever since, it's been a huge struggle to keep weight off.

3. I stress eat. Babies are stressful. So are toddlers.

So now, here I am, ready to try again. I want to be clear that I am doing this for me, and for my health. My knees hurt, I get winded easily. Something has to give.

I'm writing this blog (and updates) as a way to hold myself accountable. It's a long road, but at the moment, I got nothing but time.